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Thursday, September 19, 2024

Failure Is Not a Stop Sign

It was Thomas Edison who famously said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Edison’s pithy quote reflects a quintessentially American perspective—that at its most basic, failure can be nothing more than a steppingstone on the road to success. In more modern times, American business leaders, such as the late Steve Jobs, speak openly about failures and how they ultimately lead to success. In the United States, we celebrate National Failures Day on August 15. It is a little-known holiday but a fascinating one because who among us hasn’t experienced failure at one point or another?

Here in Enid, most of us are not famous inventors or business leaders. But one thing is clear: like the Edisons and Jobs of the world, we can learn from our mistakes and setbacks. And we can use what we learn to move forward and get one step closer to success. Whatever “success” might look like—baking a cake, taking a test, starting a business, or recovering from a mistake at work—the simple truth is that people want to succeed. But it is not always an easy process, so to learn more, we recently sat down with several professionals right here in Enid to get their insights on using setbacks as tools to achieve success.

Overcoming Organizational Setbacks

Local business owner Kristin Campbell knows a thing or two about overcoming hardships. When she opened Connected Wellness in 2017, there were no guarantees on whether the Enid community would embrace holistic healing and natural paths to wellness. “There were a lot of fears that I had to overcome in my own mindset—like, is this really going to work?” said Kristin. The gamble paid off, and since then, she and a dedicated team of practitioners have served Enid residents with a variety of therapies such as reiki and acupressure.

One of Kristin’s favorite ways to help clients is through life coaching. No two clients are the same, and the coaching process is completely customizable. Kristin explained, “What you may come in here for and what you may need is different than the four other clients that I worked with today. So, that’s really the beauty of it, meeting people exactly where they are. There’s no cookie cutter approach.”

When Covid hit, Kristin had to adjust. Like businesses everywhere, she found herself asking, “Are we going to be able to keep going?” In the turbulence of 2020, Kristin had to dig deep and “just kind of buckle down and make it happen.” She credits two things with making this possible. One was the tangible, critical financial planning that allowed her to keep the business afloat. But equally critical was the intangible sense of purpose and mission that drove her to open Connected Wellness in the first place. For Kristin, finding a way forward was a matter of both hard work and mindset.

Another individual who knows about finding a way forward is Kelli Osburn, Executive Director at Making a Difference (MAD). Nestled in the shadow of the majestic Bivins Chapel on the campus of Northern Oklahoma College, MAD is a dedicated group of professional counselors who are making a big difference in Enid. They help people through several different avenues: private counseling, programs for children and youth, and services for college students. It is “a pretty well-rounded organization at this point,” said MAD Executive Director Kelli Osburn, who said that the client base ranges in age from young children to senior citizens.

Back in 2012, MAD was struggling to find a permanent home. The road was not an easy one: deals fell through, and finances were challenging. Looking back, Kelli said, “It was heartbreaking. I was done, and [former director] Justin—there were periods when he was done. I kept pushing us forward, and there were times that he kept pushing us forward.” Eventually MAD secured their current location at NOC, and they officially opened their doors in the new space in November 2023. It was a win for MAD, but it has also been a win for NOC. Students at the college can see MAD staff, and counselor Brittany Juliano does campus presentations on topics such as dating violence.

It Takes a Village

If you have ever been a student in a classroom, you know that it’s not always a walk in the park. From middle school math to college English, there are going to be times when things just don’t work as planned. For students at Northern Oklahoma College, located at the east end of Enid, bumps in the road do not mean the end of the road, thanks to NOC’s robust support system. Vice President of NOC Enid, Jeremy Hise, shared how the college helps students who are encountering difficulties, saying that “First of all, we need to identify what’s the challenge. You know, are you going to class? If the answer to that is ‘No,’ then I’ve got a good idea of where to start. We try to look at the situation and analyze what is the challenge because until you can identify the challenge, it’s difficult to come up with a successful path forward.”

NOC has a whole team of staff and faculty who are ready to help the struggling student, and one thing that Jeremy and his colleagues try to do is ensure that students actually know that help exists. Hise described their approach to incoming first-year students as “You have a team of people here who are willing to help you, and if you don’t know, you have to be willing to ask. And that’s what we try to instill in them. Hopefully…they will take away that there are people here that care about you and want you to be successful and are willing to help you.”

A core theme throughout our conversation is that learning and overcoming challenges is not just about the classroom. Jeremy stressed that for students, instructors want to instill the message that “This is about lifelong learning….in the process of learning college algebra, which you may or may not ever use again in your life, we’re still developing critical thinking skills that are going to be transferrable to other aspects of your life.”

One story that Jeremy proudly related was that of Hector Ramirez. “One of the first young men that I ever coached…he had his baseball cleats held together with duct tape,” recalled Jeremy. “He was the first person in his family to have ever gone to college, and now he has his doctorate and is a superintendent—I mean, I’ve got goosebumps telling you about it!” Hector went from duct tape to a doctorate, a living testament to his own hard work and the support of professors and coaches at NOC.

Staff at MAD also work hard to help clients develop their own systems of support, whether it is through improving interpersonal relationships or connecting with community-based resources. “When I was down, Justin picked me up…and we are constantly trying to link up clients to some type of social support system, because really, that support is just invaluable,” explained Kelli.

One way that MAD accomplishes this goal is through its signature program, the Micro Learning Center. The Learning Center supports students who are engaged in home-based learning through Epic Charter Schools, Enid Public Schools, or the curriculum of their choice. The program is intentionally kept small and cultivates a personalized learning environment, serving students who can benefit from a bit of extra guidance. Not only does MAD offer a structured, sensory-friendly environment for students to do their schoolwork, they also strive to equip youth with the tools of resilience. “We do field trips. We have music lessons and will have art lessons starting in the fall….it is an atmosphere where these students are able to develop friends and interact. These kids are able to develop that social support system in a very small environment with just a small number of kids, and I think it’s been hugely beneficial,” said Kelli. Helping kids and others forge their social support network is one of the core goals at MAD, and the supportive environment has been successful. Kelli reported that “I think every single student passed all their classes for this last full semester that we did…and we got three of them to graduation, two of which were not planning to graduate at all.”  

Teaching People to Fish

You have probably heard the saying, “Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.” In their own unique ways, everyone we spoke with integrated that theme through their work. The idea is that by equipping people with the tools to work through setbacks and learn from mistakes, they are being set up for success down the road.

Regardless of whether they are working with children, senior citizens, or college students, the overall goal at MAD is empowering people with the tools to overcome whatever challenges they might encounter. “It’s not like resilience is something we’re just born with,” said Brittany. “I don’t know how many times I’ve sat across from people that have just been knocked down in their lives, and we just say, ‘Okay, and what were your successes in that? You got knocked down a lot, but man, look what you’re doing today.’ And we just keep pushing that forward.”

This sentiment was echoed by Jeremy, who works in administration but also has a background in baseball coaching and classroom teaching. He has always worked to instill resilience in his students, saying that “Learning how to deal with failure and learning how to overcome and persevere and have some resilience—that’s an important part of this whole process…it goes beyond a classroom. It goes beyond just a playing field.” You can fail at something—indeed, at some point in their lives, everyone on earth has probably failed at one thing or another—but it’s what you do with that failure that counts. To that end, one thing that Jeremy has always tried to make clear to his student-athletes is that “Failure is not a stop sign!”

Like Brittany at MAD, Kristin also strives to give clients the tools to help themselves. She emphasizes that one of her favorite strategies to teach clients is something she calls the “Six Points of Power.” Essentially, it is a series of cognitive steps a person can take that equips them to reframe their struggles into manageable chunks. Starting with how a person thinks about themselves and expanding to their relationships with other people, Kristin said that it is a good process that “gives people different ideas, different ways to think about something, different ways to communicate in their key relationships in life, and different ways to promote work-life balance.”

Community

If you are reading this and are left wondering how you can apply some of this to your own life, start small. Explore some of the many ways to get involved in the Enid community; there is something for almost every interest. Enid has performing arts organizations (Enid Symphony Orchestra, Gaslight Theatre); community service groups (AMBUCS, Loaves & Fishes, Enid Street Outreach Services); regional heritage (Cherokee Strip Heritage Museum, Main Street Enid); rescue organizations (ESPCA, Animal Welfare); and educational (Enid Public Library, Leonardo’s Children’s Museum). These and many other opportunities exist right here in town, and they all accept volunteers. Not only do these organizations strengthen the community as a whole, but for those who volunteer with them, they offer a great way to forge interpersonal relationships and strengthen social ties.

Finally, if you are reading this and thinking that you or someone you know might benefit from a little supportive boost in life, please do not be afraid to reach out. Mistakes and setbacks are a fundamental part of life, but fortunately for Enid residents, there are many resources available to help them navigate turbulent waters. According to Google, there are over 20 businesses and organizations right here in Enid that offer some kind of counseling services. To this end, Kelli explained that sometimes there is a bit of misapprehension surrounding the idea of professional counseling. “Don’t let the stigma of mental health stop you from reaching out to a counselor. Therapy does not [mean that] you’re crazy,” she wanted to reassure readers. “You don’t have to be in therapy for your whole life but have [therapy for] those seasons where it’s just a little more difficult… you can move through it with a healthy perspective rather than getting stuck.”

Alita Feek
Alita Feek
Alita Feek is a freelance writer for Enid Monthly. Raised as a proud Navy brat, she has lived all over the country with her Air Force (retired) spouse and their kids. She has enjoyed settling into the Enid community and looks forward to the many adventures to come. Alita holds a B.A. from Oberlin College, an M.S. from the University of Washington, and an M.A. in English from Northwestern State University of Louisiana.

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