As Valentine’s Day gets closer, love continues to fill the stores and air. This is the time of year where love is most evident, as couples hit the town for date night, and everyone is looking for that special something for that special someone. The shows and movies being advertised are all romantic and everyone is in spirit for the season. So, in the spirit of love, we chose to talk about it and everything it encompasses, not just the hearts and flowers.
Being in love is one of life’s biggest blessings. Getting to share your life with someone so special and getting to witness them grow into the person they were meant to be while loving them, pouring into them, and celebrating them along the way is truly a unique experience. Taking on life with a partner just seems to make everything a little bit better. However, what this holiday doesn’t highlight is the fact that love isn’t always pretty. It’s a beautiful experience that most of us will experience at least once in our life, but it can also be a very exhausting and draining experience from time to time.
No matter how long you’ve been with someone, at the end of the day, you’re two individual people with two separate sets of beliefs, values, morals, and opinions. Therefore, arguments, disagreements, or bad days are unfortunately inevitable. However, being in love is a choice, and every day you make the choice to love that person despite every hardship that comes along. True love takes patience, forgiveness, hard work, commitment, consideration, dedication, and communication.
In light of Valentine’s Day, we sat down with a few different couples from our community. We sat down with a new couple who, as of the day this hits the stands, have welcomed life into the world. And we also sat down with a divorced couple, a newly engaged couple, and a couple that’s been married for many years to see exactly how they’ve each “survived” love.
To begin with, we sat down with a couple who are now divorced to see where they stand on things as they reflect. Crystal Caddell and Corey Caddell were married and dated for 6 years, and they’ve now been divorced for 4 years. As co-parents, Crystal says they work well together because “We have a mutual respect for each other and a mutual love for our son.” Corey says, “Just because we didn’t work out as a couple doesn’t mean we can’t be great role models for Rowdy!” As a couple, Crystal stated that miscommunication was their biggest struggle, but she continues with, “Any couple, married or divorced, doesn’t always agree on how to do things with or for their children.” Disagreements and miscommunications are unfortunately bound to happen as each relationship does have at least 2 different people with 2 different mind sets in it.
According to Better Health Channel, “Good communication is an important part of all relationships and is an essential part of any healthy partnership. All relationships have ups and downs, but a healthy communication style can make it easier to deal with conflict and build a stronger and healthier partnership.” Communication truly can be what makes or breaks many relationships – listen to understand, not to respond.
As they both mentioned, they both learned that they didn’t work out as a couple, but they do work together phenomenally as co-parents for their son. As they reflect on their relationship, Crystal mentions, “Listening and valuing the other person’s opinion is one of the most important parts of a relationship,” and Corey states, “Communication and honesty are some of the most important parts.” Corey goes on to say, “It’s easy to look back and say, ‘what if’ – I choose to look at it as a learning lesson.” When it comes to advice for new couples, Corey continues with, “If there’s nothing wrong with it, don’t fix it.” And Crystal’s advice is, “Don’t go into the relationship expecting to change the other person. You have to accept them as they are or move on.” She continues with, “My advice is to date each other forever. I blame part of my failed relationships on getting stale and not focusing on the relationship. Keep it exciting and spend time and energy on each other.” Being in a relationship is a choice you make daily, so when you make that choice, choose to also pour into your partner, and, as Crystal said, “date each other forever.”
Gabbie Winters and K’von Menifee have been together for 10 months now, and, as of the day this comes out, they will have welcomed their own little bundle of joy into the world. Their relationship is still fresh and new! However, with a baby on the way, they had a lot to learn and overcome so early on. When it comes to what makes them work so well, Gabbie says it’s patience, and K’von says they balance each other out. “The way we think is what makes us work so well together. I’m more of a logical thinker, and she’s more of an emotional thinker, so we balance each other out.” On a similar note, when it comes to what makes them struggle or argue the most, Gabbie stated, “Miscommunication of our feelings, so my advice for other people would be to take the time to communicate your thoughts and emotions. If you aren’t open and honest, your partner can only really guess or assume what you’re feeling, which won’t get either of you anywhere.”
When it comes to what’s most important to them, K’von said “Most? That implies that there’s only one important part, but the list of what’s important is endless.” Together, they’ve both stressed the importance of taking time and building a friendship first. Building a foundation to build upon sets relationships up for better chances of success, so taking your time and really getting to know one another is just as important as any other aspect of the relationship. When it comes to advice for other couples, Gabbie says, “Make the most of every moment,” and K’von states, “No matter how mad you are, never turn down a hug, kiss, or an ‘I love you.’” Gabbie follows up with, “Conflict is normal, and it can be worked out most of the time. Just be patient and understanding of your partner.”
Gabbie and K’von highlight how important it is to be compassionate and considerate of your partner. After all, there are at least two people in a relationship, therefore each person’s feelings and opinions are just as important as the others, which is why it’s so important to be considerate. Everyone has different love languages and versions of love that fit them, so be sure to learn your partner’s, and be sure to be considerate of that.
This next couple is newly engaged, and we visited with them to see how they got to where they are and what they’d recommend for others. Morgan Redick and Chris Gerber got engaged on June 28, 2023, and their wedding is scheduled for June 8, 2024. They got together in May of 2021, so they’re coming up on 3 years strong.
When it comes to their relationship, Morgan says that they work well together because they have trust in each other and communicate. Chris says they’re understanding, and they balance their busy schedules, which includes spending time alone together. When it comes to the tougher days, their arguments or disagreements are similar to other couples, including insecurities, financial difficulties, and indecisiveness, which almost everyone can relate to. When it comes to working through those tougher days, they stated, “We work through those struggles by having honest and open conversations, and we allow space when it’s needed.” As for what’s most important to them in their relationship, they prioritize communication, loyalty, trust, support, and compassion to understand one another. As they continue their journey to becoming a married couple, their advice for new couples is, “Try to see each situation or difficult time through the other’s point of view,” says Chris, and Morgan states, “Continue to ‘date’ each other and make amazing memories together.”
Chris and Morgan’s journey as a married couple may only be just beginning, but the foundation they’ve built will help stabilize them for the journey ahead. Chris recommends that couples live together because you’ll learn a lot about each other, and that insight is important when considering spending the rest of your life with someone. Morgan’s grandma gave her a motto that she intends to live by for their marriage, and it’s, “What’s mine is mine, and what’s your is mine.” And Chris’s motto is, “Happy wife, happy life.” With their priorities and mottos aligning seamlessly, it’s not hard to see why they’re on their way to their happily ever after.
Last but not least, we sat down with a married couple to see exactly how they’ve “survived” love for the past 75 years. Delbert and Mary Foltz have been married for 75 beautiful years, and together they’ve raised 3 children, they’ve got to witness their 5 grandchildren grow up, and now they get to watch as their 12 great grandchildren grow. Their ‘secret ingredient’ is that they enjoy doing things together. Mary states, “Marry someone that likes what you like,” and Delbert says, “Opposites don’t attract.” Over time, they said they got used to each other because it doesn’t take long to adapt. In addition to raising children, they’ve built a home, went to school, transitioned in careers, moved to different locations, and traveled the world together.
They’re exactly what you picture – the cutest couple with the loveliest house full of memories and joy. As they answered each question, they often finished each other’s sentences, helped each other make their points, and still had a little fun with each other in between the questions and answers. In their opinion, the most important part of a relationship is loving each other. They enjoy spending time together, and they enjoy the same things. They have the same interests and passions, and that allows them to enjoy the life they built together. Another key to success that they mentioned is having 2 separate TVs. However, they still come together for the things they enjoy, like sports when their favorite teams are playing. As they talked about their life and every one of their favorite memories, they touched on all of the decorations and trinkets throughout their house. Each item had a story and an emotion behind it, and each item was important to both of them. Certain items were definitely more intended for just one of them, but the other still valued and appreciated it because it meant something to their partner. They were often together in many of the stories they recalled, and they shared friends, journeys, and memories. They’re truly life partners in every aspect of the term.
Mary and Delbert highlight the importance of learning about your partners’ love language and communicating with them through that language. For them, their love language is quality time. They enjoy tackling life’s obstacles and journeys together, and it was beyond evident that they take comfort in one another’s presence. And with 75 years under their belt, it’s safe to say they know a thing or two about what they’re saying. It’s important to keep in mind that quality time is their love language, and that may not be your partners, which is okay. That’s why it’s so important to learn your partner’s love language – each person and relationship is different from the next.
As we celebrate the holiday and give a little extra love to those around us, please remember that love takes hard work. Love is beautiful; it’s hearts, flowers, rainbows, and great times, but it’s also tough conversations, compromises, and patience. As you embrace the holiday, acknowledge each other’s hard work because loving one another does take work. Surviving love doesn’t mean love is something hard or daunting, it simply means it’s not always easy. So, in an effort to help you and your partner in the future, we wanted to share other couples’ methods, tips, and advice for how they’ve each survived love. Happy Valentine’s Day!
